You Have the Right to Remain Unlovable

Watching COPS on TV with G, they show a very messed up meth-family where the father tried to sell his kid for more meth. The kid was hooked too and had committed some petty crimes whereas the father was drunk and resisting arrest.

The Cops of COPS we’re way pissed because the suspect father ran. They always hate it when suspects run. The entire response squad had physiques between “big hefty” and “big fat” and were completely out of breath after the 1-block drunken chase.

After the episode, G says to me in 100% complete seriousness that we should adopt some meth-children. Or at least do some Big Brother/Big Sister program and take them to the movies, something to get them out of the meth-house.

G has a big heart, but that’s just pure crazy! As much as I’d like to hang out with a 13-year-old boy with a serious drug habit, I think that he might be…perhaps…a bit untrustworthy.

Spiderman 3 may be “this summer’s must-see rollercoaster thrill ride!”* But imagine how much more thrilling it’d be to sit in a darkened theater looking sideways to make sure you don’t get pick pocketed. Or stabbed in the kidney.

I think G misunderstood the whole point of the show. COPS is all about making you feel better about yourself--with the genuine satisfaction that comes watching how messed up other people are--not about making the world a better place.

*Peter Travers, Rolling Stone, who loves everything!!