Dismal Science

In honor of the now omnipresent Halloween season with it’s tap-dancing skeletons: How does it feel to die?

None of us can know the answers for sure until our own time comes, but the few individuals who have their brush with death interrupted by a last-minute reprieve can offer some intriguing insights. Advances in medical science, too, have led to a better understanding of what goes on as the body gives up the ghost.

Death comes in many guises, but one way or another it is usually a lack of oxygen to the brain that delivers the coup de grâce. Whether as a result of a heart attack, drowning or suffocation, for example, people ultimately die because their neurons are deprived of oxygen, leading to cessation of electrical activity in the brain - the modern definition of biological death. If the flow of freshly oxygenated blood to the brain is stopped, through whatever mechanism, people tend to have about 10 seconds before losing consciousness and several minutes to die.
It’s all here: Drowning, Heart Attack, Blood Loss, Fire, Electrocution, Decapitation, Falling, Hanging, and Explosive Decompression in the Vacuum of Space.

The "Hollywood Heart Attack", featuring sudden pain, desperate chest-clutching and immediate collapse, certainly happens in a few cases. But a typical "myocardial infarction", as medical-speak has it, is a lot less dramatic and comes on slowly, beginning with mild discomfort.

So if an old man is dramatically clutching his chest, blow him off because he's faking. Probably just wants attention because his children don't call.

Controversial Artist Finally Silenced

RIP Marcel Marceau

Good Planning

I never knew Kurt Vonnegut had a website. When he died back in April, the site opened with just this simple, yet powerful image*.

Which is great, because a lot of website owners just die without updating anyone. Right when demand peaks for an update (oh no I heard a rumor, but it can’t be true), there’s just nothing.

But with Kurt, you knew where you stood because he was a planner. He drew out this little doodle. He scanned and uploaded it, and made arrangements to get in posted when his day came. As a fan and reader, I appreciate the consideration.

Tupac was considerate in his own way too, fans wanted music, and he obliged by giving them those posthumous albums. Hardest working man in show business.

*BTW, I think the open birdcage image is symbolic or something – like a symbol that someone on staff better feed his hungry cockatoos, or at least unlock their cage and give them a head start.

Update: In a similar manner, Andy Rooney has prepared one last commentary to be aired in the event of his demise. In life, no aspect of society escaped his curmudgeonly observations from politics to to pop trends to telepathic squirrels, now Andy gives viewers a piece of his mind regarding his recent lifestyle change.

Did you notice that I’ve recently cast off the mortal coil? I wonder why they call it that? The mortal part makes sense, sure, but there’s no coil as far as I can tell. And no white lights either. There were just some doctors and my grown children weeping and then nothing. Why is that?

I think this whole dying business has gotten really overrated; and yet we Americans can’t seem to stop doing it! Talk about peer pressure, just like we can’t seem stop buying Britney Spears’ albums or those latest raps.

I never understood the appeal of them, they sound like someone tried to make music, but then gave up. And I’ll tell you, incessant harp music isn’t much better. Everyday now – I mean what ever happened to resting in peace?