McDonalds Declares War on How People Talk

McDonalds has launched a campaign to pressure the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) to change its published definition of the term “McJob” which it finds objectionable.

The word has meant a bad job for at least 20 years. The first documented print citation occurred in 1986 via the Washington Post. The term was later popularized by Douglas Coupland's 1991 book "Generation X." and has been in the dictionary since 2001.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a "McJob" is "an unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, especially one created by the expansion of the service sector."

Doesn’t sound too controversial, but there’s a dissenter:

"It's the complete opposite to that," Amanda Pierce, McDonald's spokesperson told ABC News. "It's stimulating, rewarding and offers a wide range of opportunities,"

Those pointy-headed dictionary guys really dropped the ball on “McJob”, accidentally printing the exact opposite definition. What an e-gre-gious error! The truth is from now on McJob will only mean a stockbroker salaried at $200K+ starting.

There’s an inherent conflict between how the public talks about McDonalds and how McDonald’s wants the public to talk about McDonalds. Ask a random person off the street to free associate McDonalds and they will never say the words “stimulating” or “rewarding” or “edible”. They will instead say things like cheap…greasy…styrofoamy…gassy...clown molestation-y… but terms like that won’t be appearing in the latest McRib commercials. Except for that one David Lynch is guest directing.

It’s not the dictionary that’s making people say McJob. It’s because they already say McJob that it’s in the dictionary. What McDonald’s needs to do is organize a grassroots protest petition of the people or something—

In May, McDonald's will offer its employees the opportunity to sign a petition to change the term McJob into something more positive, changing the public perception of McDonald's jobs. This request will be submitted to dictionary publishing houses.

“Opportunity” in this case means all valued urinal-cake replacement team members must sign the manager's petition before going home.