Overheard on the Bus - Fur Real

[The scene: #540 bus, early morning commute. Loud Woman, mid-20s sits behind me with a much quieter friend]

So you know Tommy, that guy I’m dating off and on? We’ll guess what, he’s seeing this little 20-year old skank in Tacoma. Yeah they met on the fucking Internet, probably using the computer I bought for him. But whatever, I don’t care.

He can do whatever he wants, except that she’s a real freak. She’s a furry. You don't know what that is? Well, she dresses as a snow leopard—in bed--and her IM handle is SnowLepordess or some shit like that.

And get this; he says he only IM chatted with her because he thought I’d like her. Bullshit! Like she’d be my type! I mean she’s sort of pretty in the face, but this chick is short and a fat ass. And she has a horrible personality, that’s probably why she needs to dress up like animals so she can meet other freaks on freak websites. Tommy and I so don’t have the same taste in women.

I really could care less what he and his new little skankette friend do with their free time. Do you know what an anthropomorphic animal is? Yeah it’s all kinds of anime animal costumes and fucked up half human shit. And there’s always a flap at the crotch.

I mean, I personally think those animal costumes are beautiful with the realistic fur and feathers and whatnot. I really admire the artistry. And I could see wearing something tasteful, like to rave, but wearing that shit while fucking—that’s just wrong.

And she’s a freak. You know what she said she wants sexually? So she wants to be dominated in bed by a man dressed as an upright fox. With fox ears and fur and a fox tail. Oh yeah, did I mention she still lives at home with her parents?


Paul’s notes and observations:

(1) Even though she "doesn't care", Loud Woman spoke on this topic for the entirety of the 30-minute bus ride
(2) Loud Woman’s friend said no more than 10 words during the 30-minute bus ride
(3) Presumably Loud Woman is bi-sexual. Because she must’ve loudly informed the entire bus of this fact at least 3 times.
(4) The Loud Woman herself was, shall we say, zaftig. But at least she had a great personality. Right?
(5) I don’t see how an animal as small as a fox could ever “sexually dominate” a full-grown snow leopard. Unless sexually dominate is code for “become a meal for”.
(6) Really, I’m trying to read my magazine up here, but how can I?
(7) Public Transportation is so awesome it hurts