Monkey See; Monkey Do; Monkey Stab

(AP) Chimpanzees living on the West African savanna have been observed fashioning spears from sticks and using them to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons observed in animals other than humans.

Full article.

This is pretty amazing. It wasn’t so long ago that we (as humans) started out on our tool-making path that went from spears to wheels to iPods. Chimpanzees have used other tools before: they’ve made hooks for catching termites and employed flat rocks for opening nuts. But, this is just the first time they’ve willfully constructed a weapon, so it’s only a matter of time before they’re hunting while sporting white earbuds.

Apparently spear making is a learned-skill, as it’s spread throughout the primate troop where it was first observed. One has to wonder if we left this band of chimp-geniuses alone, what kind of society would they build up: would they live in vine-covered high-rises; or create a banana-based stock market? Would Britney Spears still be famous, or would they just have a bald chimp wearing a blond wig?

And philosophically, it really calls into question whether we, as a species, are that unique. One of our defining characteristics is supposed to be tool use. Why we shouldn’t be surprised. And why we should prepare for the inevitable chimp uprising.

Here’s the chilling scientist quote:

After stabbing their prey, they [the chimps] removed the injured or dead animal and ate it. Lead researcher Jill D. Pruetz of Iowa State University in Ames said it reminded her of the shower scene in "Psycho."

Brrrrr. Problem is there was only one Norman Bates and there must be, I dunno, like a billion psycho chimps out there. By the way, this is what they’re killing: a cute, but tiny, primate-squirrel called a bushbaby:
If intelligent chimps have no qualms about brutally murdering these adorable little scamps, do you think they’d hesitate for a second before taking a swing at us?

To summarize: animals are not just stronger than us, faster than us and often pointier than us—now they're also armed. God help us.