How to Succeed in Business

[Scene: Monday morning at the office coffee machine]

Co-worker: Good morning

Paul: Morning…nice hat is that new?

[co-worker is wearing a black toque with a red skull patch]

Co-worker: Yeah, I got it from my new boyfriend. He’s a rocker so he’s into skulls and crossbones and that kind of thing.

Paul: You know who else is? Pirates.

Co-worker: Yeah…I guess they are, but he’s not one, he plays lead guitar in a band.

Paul: Like a Band o’ Buccaneers?

Co-worker: [annoyed silence]

(Brain: stop being so stupid…talk about normal office things like the weather or traffic)

Paul: So, uh, how was your weekend?

Co-worker: All right, I hung out with my boyfriend and went to his show. And yours?

Paul: Nothing special, guess it was arrrgh-right--all right, it was all right.

(Brain: Stop that. crap.)