How to Succeed in Business

[Scene: Monday morning at the office coffee machine]

Co-worker: Good morning

Paul: Morning…nice hat is that new?

[co-worker is wearing a black toque with a red skull patch]

Co-worker: Yeah, I got it from my new boyfriend. He’s a rocker so he’s into skulls and crossbones and that kind of thing.

Paul: You know who else is? Pirates.

Co-worker: Yeah…I guess they are, but he’s not one, he plays lead guitar in a band.

Paul: Like a Band o’ Buccaneers?

Co-worker: [annoyed silence]

(Brain: stop being so stupid…talk about normal office things like the weather or traffic)

Paul: So, uh, how was your weekend?

Co-worker: All right, I hung out with my boyfriend and went to his show. And yours?

Paul: Nothing special, guess it was arrrgh-right--all right, it was all right.

(Brain: Stop that. crap.)

The Super Broker Shuffle

Apparently the Chicago Bears are going back to the Super Bowl. Last time they went in 1985, they weren’t just a team, but a cultural phenomenon. Having lived through 1985, I can attest that even an oblivious kid could not escape Bears on TV, Bears on the radio, Bears in car advertisements. I think they did something for McDonalds.

The pinnacle of their cultural relevance was undoubtedly “The Super Bowl Shuffle”. Before the big game, most of the entire team participated in a group “rap” with much shuffling awkwardness. It was on the radio, it was on MTV. It was everywhere.

The track even reached #41 on the Billboard charts. It was a confusing time for all of us.

As awkward as it was seeing ham-fisted athletes act like musicians/dancers, it was soon eclipsed by the SUPER BOWL of AWKWARD later that year. I refer of course, to the lesser-known “Super Broker Shuffle”. Unfortunately this never made the Billboard charts:





There are really no words to describe this further.