Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I don’t know much about this Andrew W.K. fellow. But from what I hear of his songs, he’s really committed to the cause of partying. Like that song I heard at the gym that contained the word ‘party’ over 50+ times? That song alone could earn him a PhD in Partyology or maybe a Purple Heart after fighting for his right to party.

I’m thinking Andrew W.K. could never just spend a quiet evening at home without fans shouting Judas! Traitor! like they did when Dylan went electric. Deep in this line of thought, standing at my gym locker, an old man calls out to me. He’s wet and of course he’s naked and asks me to get him a towel from the front desk.

It’s distasteful, but I do it out of respect for my elders. It raises questions though. Was he so eager to get naked that he didn’t have a shower exit strategy? Or does he think the gym is his 1920s era country club bustling with towel fetching manservants? And where was he keeping the buffalo nickel he tipped me with?

Overall, I felt embarassed by the encounter but couldn’t politely refuse the old man. Unlike Andrew W.K., who would’ve handled this awkward situation with a little more assertiveness and a lot more party.


Anonymous said...

From the office that brought you guilt free blow jobs (its not a sin and its not adultery), the office of the President of the USA deems that exits strategies are not needed. We don't need one in Iraq, so why have one in the shower...or after a drunken hookup...or after falling asleep in a dumster

Paul said...

With all these situations, you don’t have to be psychic to figure out what’s going to happen next: quagmires; nakedness; and garbage-stench.