One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for a Rich Man

Microsoft billionaire and Microsoft Word inventor Charles Simonyi is set to return from space tomorrow. He paid $25 million to the Russian Space Agency to spend 14 days in orbit with cosmonauts, including a 2-day sojourn at the International Space Station. Mr. Simonyi is the world’s fifth space tourist.

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Some of the space mission’s highlights:

*Charles Simonyi is performing critical scientific experiments in space—such as measuring the effect stacks of $100 bills have on impoverished Cosmonauts

*Simonyi’s boss Bill Gates also plans to spend $25 million on an unforgettable experience and reportedly very excited about having the sex.

*The launch rocket was designed with Russia’s finest engineering and guaranteed to crash only half as often as Microsoft Windows.

*Important mission findings: Major credit cards work just as well in weightlessness and Russian Space Tourism is more tax-deductible than Thai Sex Tourism.

*Space walk to properly honor Simonyi’s contributions to humanity. He and “Clippy” the talking paperclip to be ceremoniously shoved by foot out of airlock