Naked Philosophy with Bears

Again, I walk into the gym locker room and it’s just me and another naked man. But this time, the other man just happens to be a dead ringer for Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips.

I’m going about my locker business and from behind me he says, “Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you.”

It took a beat to realize I must be the intended recipient of this and that somehow I have entered a conversation with a naked man.

Me: Sorry…say what?

Him: I said, the bear, sometimes you eat him; but sometimes he eats you.

Me: [turning around enough to be polite, but not enough to see his entire nakedness] uh yeah, I guess so.

Him: You said it! A lot of people just think their gonna get that bear. They chase after it, they join a step-aerobics class; they get a nice car. Doctors and lawyers think they’re so god-damn smart that they can beat it at it’s own game, but it’s not going to matter they’re going to get mauled in the end. You can’t aerobicize your way out of that, Mr. Tough-Guy-Prosecutor, know what I mean?

Me: Yeah …that’s...a good point. OK, goodbye.

Him: See you. It’s good talking with someone who really gets it.


You know people don’t really eat bears these days, so this conversation doesn't make sense on the surface.

Was this man talking in code? Was there a CIA spy microfiche hand-off that I was a party to? On the other hand, maybe it some kind of gay code? There's been a lot in the news lately about tapping your foot under the men's room stall to indicate willingness. Maybe talking about bears is the new code since the old one's been exposed. So to speak.

Or was he really a naked Wayne Coyne and this was some sort of weird social experiment to sing about on the next album? Seems like something the Flaming Lips might do.