Monday, May 12, 2008

Primary Care

Everyone knows it’s over, but my theory is that the Clinton camp also knows it too and isn’t actually fighting right now. Like a welterweight pulling her punches, she’s just moving her feet and biding time to drop out right after the Oregon primary on May 20th. She’s even taken the unsanctioned metal slugs out of her gloves.

North Carolina was the knock-out; a lot of people are saying that now. 2 months before North Carolina, it was actually already over, but she was hanging in there, hoping for a major Obama screw-up like the classic “found in a hotel room with a dead girl or a live boy”--and also filmed taking a dump on the American flag while smoking a cigarette. That’s the only combination of things that could’ve derailed him and given her the nom. Didn’t happen, but it was worth a shot.

So why wait until Oregon? Because she’s actually going to be a team-player and make Obama look good. The problem is, Clinton will win the 2 unimportant hillbilly states that are up next on the primary schedule: West Virginia and Kentucky*. And it’d look real bad for BHO if she dropped out and still won them. So that’s why she’s waiting until Oregon to be gone.

So here’s my testable prediction: Clinton drops out on May 21st.

So this video will only be funny for the next 9 days and only if you’ve been following the race – but if so this will slay you:

Love the nervous looks on the Nazi officers’ faces as they get reamed again and again, “I’m surrounded with ignorant eunuchs, with cunts for eyes!” There is so much to like about that video.

*Calling a whole state unimportant might be a little offensive, but I was born here so it’s like OK to trash talk those banjo-picking, corn mash-distillin’ motherfuckers. And it’s not like they’ll know how to work a computer to ever read this.

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